A Blog of Individualism, Originality and Self Expression from a Daydreamer with a Big Imagination

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Obvious Signs Your Girlfriend is Anorexic

How to tell if your girlfriend has anorexia other than obviously being too skinny.

When she takes a bubble bath she floats.

After bathing she dries off with a paper towel.

She uses a cat collar for a belt.

When she is outside on a breezy day you hear the wind whistling around her.

Instead of a clothes hamper she stores her dirty laundry in a coffee can.

She turns on the heater in the middle of summer.

She can't take showers because the water misses her.

She uses band aids instead of a bra.

When she wears a cap she is entirely in the shade.

She stomps on an insect in the house to kill it.  When she lifts up her foot it runs away looking back up at her laughing.

Pissed off at her boss she makes a laxative chocolate cake for a gift but decides to keep it for herself.

So tired due to lack of nutrition she sleeps more than the family cat.

Stores a pillow in the car to put in front of her because the seat belt wont adjust that small.

You can't ride around in the car with the windows down because it twirls her around like clothes in a washing machine.

If you suggest going out to dinner she replies "No thanks, I already ate this week".

You are watching a documentary on the history channel about the Third Reich and it is shows the starving Jews in the death camps.  She replies "They don't looked starved to me".

When you have sex she always has to be on top so you don't break her.

When she gets on a scale to weigh herself the scale go backwards.

You can hold her up on your shoulders through an entire all day rock concert without getting tired or sore shoulders.

I realize anorexia is a serious problem and not to be laughed at or make jokes about it.  But this is a humor blog.  You knew that by the title before you came here. These are anorexia jokes and one liners I made up. Not copied from any other source other than my 200 brain cells that are still functioning. Oh wait, I just went down to 199. I felt one escape.


one liners funny said...

lol ,
how did you find all this crappy ideas .
well i enjoy it hope will see some more soon